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I was looking at myself in the mirror, wondering what happened. What I saw was a far cry from the strong athletic person I once knew myself to be. I wasn’t in horrible shape, but I felt so disconnected from myself. I was overweight, and I felt it. My jeans were tight. Again.

Back then I worked a lot and was out of balance. I was constantly scrambling to meet everyone else’s needs before mine because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. I didn’t sleep well because I was stressed. I was in an unhealthy relationship, knowing full well I should have left long ago. I was tired all of the time.

I ate to avoid facing how unhappy I was and to avoid doing tasks I found uncomfortable, like picking up the phone to call clients. The more I ate, the more weight I’d gain and the more I judged myself harshly.

If this was what getting older looked like, it sucked.

I knew that I needed to do something to take care of myself, so I looked at joining a Crossfit gym. I had never invested that much in myself before for a fitness plan, and even though I started to make up reasons not to go through with it, I tried it anyway. I did this for 3 or 4 months and then I stopped after another crisis pulled my attention away.

But the pattern played out for another year. I ended the unhealthy relationship soon as a way to start reclaiming my life. I changed my diet a number of times, I tried workouts I found online. I’d get frustrated because my fitness level was so low that I couldn’t finish the workouts, so I gave up very easily.

I reached a breaking point and finally admitted to myself that I couldn’t do it on my own.

Asking for help was the hardest thing for me to do. I had to acknowledge that I didn’t have all of the answers and let someone else show me what to do.

I looked at my options and found a kettlebell class that seemed interesting so I signed up for it. I enjoyed it but felt defeated at the same time because I could barely lift 15 lbs. I had always seen myself as someone who was strong and athletic. I felt like it would be impossible to get to that again.

I kept going to class though because I was motivated enough to make a change, and I had someone I felt comfortable with to ask questions or bring up new awareness.

There was a moment when I made a breakthrough. All the times before when I trained for marathons, triathlons or even soccer or weightlifting, I would reach a point when my mind would tell me to stop, it was too painful or I was going to hurt myself. So I’d stop there and take break.

After months of kettlebell training, I made it past that plateau. Something shifted in me because I made a powerful decision to move past my mind telling me that I couldn’t break through. I proved to myself that I can in fact do anything, and I can move past the mental blocks that I’ve been attached to for years.

I looked at my before and after pictures after 90 days of training. The results were amazing. At the age of 40, I bought a bikini for the first time in my life. I joined a new soccer team where the average age was 26. They looked to me for inspiration because I was “ripped,” and one of the fastest players on the team.

I felt confident, and years lighter.

For the first time in a long time, I got really clear on what I wanted, and this started to translate into other areas of my life. Soon after I met the love of my life. I ended the business that no longer worked for me and created a platform to truly help people transform their relationship with their body.

I discovered inner peace, happiness and a life where self-care comes first. I see clearly how this impacts the quality of our relationships, work and lifestyle and I’m committed to helping others change this for themselves.

I now serve people all over the world, sharing my story and helping clients work through their own struggles with fitness. Many of my clients feel like they’re in their 20’s again after working with me for only 12 weeks. That’s a testament to their commitment and the partnership we create together.

They’re amazed by what they can do for themselves. They look and feel more confident than they have in years, and they’re delighted with the results.

They can truly embrace life.